19 replies to this topic

[rn in training]

HEY EVERYONE,

THIS TOPIC IS TO HELP ME COPE WITH THE FACT THAT NOT EVERY PARENT IS SUPPORTIVE. IM ON MY WAY TO NURSING SCHOOL IN MAY AND MY PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE AT ALL. THEY THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE NO ONE IN MY FAMILY SUCCEEDED, THEN I WILL NOT. IT KIND OF HARD TO COPE WITH THE FACT THAT NOT EVEN MY OWN PARENTS CAN BE THERE FOR ME, IV'E ALWAYS STAYED IN SCHOOL, NEVER GOT IN ANY TROUBLE AND ALWAYS HAD GOOD GRADES. EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT HOW EXCITED I AM TO BE STARTING MEDCIAL SCHOOL, THEY SAY ITS NOT WORTH IT. iTS HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHY PEOLE HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT. JUST BECAUSE I WAS RAISED IN A BAD NEIBORHOOD AND LIVED A HARD LIFE, DONT MEAN I CANT SUCCEED. I HAVE 5 YEAR OLD TWINS, AND THERE MOTIVATION TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. AND IF I DIDNT HAVE A WONDERFUL MAN, THATS THERE FOR ME, THEN I DONT THINK I WOULD HAVE HOPE. I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE, AND CARING FOR THE SICK. AND THANK GOD FOR THIS WEBSITE. PLEASE VOICE YOUR OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT, AND IF YOU CAN HELP WITH SOME ADVICE. THANKS XOXOX

[NawlinsGirl]

HI RN IN TRAINING,

IM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE. I DONT KNOW YOUR PARENTS AND WHY THEY FEEL THAT WAY, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT SUCCEED IN LIFE AND FEEL THAT YOU CANT EITHER. DONT LET THEM PROJECT THAT ON YOU. I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU , BUT I CAN FEEL YOUR MOTIVATION TO SUCCEED AND YOUR PASSION TO HELP OTHERS AND I KNOW YOU WILL EXCEL. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO KEEP LOOKING FORWARD AND DONT LET THE NEGATIVITY GET IN YOUR WAY. ONCE YOU ARE FINISHED SCHOOL AND BECOME A GREAT NURSE, IM SURE YOUR PARENTS WILL BE VERY PROUD OF YOU AS WE ALL WILL BE. ALSO, IF YOU NEED ANY HELP ALONG THE WAY PLEASE DONT HESIITATE TO ASK US HERE AT THE NURSECHAT SITE. I WILL BE WILLING TO GIVE YOU ADVICE AND HELP YOU OUT AS MUCH AS I CAN AS IM SURE THE OTHERS HERE WILL DO AS WELL. SO, DONT LET ANYONE TAKE YOUR EXCITEMENT AWAY, ITS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD KNOWING YOU WILL BE DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE AND SOMETHING TO BETTER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. THANKS FOR BECOMING PART OF THE NURSECHAT SITE. AND IM LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOU EXCEL THROUGH SCHOOL AND BECOMING THAT GREAT NURSE THAT I KNOW YOU WILL BE.

NAWLINSGIRL

[3boyzmom]

Sometimes people who have experienced a lot of bad things in life tend to look at everything through mud-colored glasses. Nothing is good; no good will come of all our efforts; what's the use. I doubt that they are trying to make you feel bad, in fact in their dysfunctional perspective, they may be trying to "save" you from disappointment by saying "don't make the effort, it won't work out." Sadly, I'm sure they truly believe this.

What you have to realize is that while this may be these peoples' reality, there is no need for it to be yours. We make our own reality. If we expect bad things to happen, if we expect disappointment, then that is almost surely what we're going to get. If we expect good things, and know that we are children of God and that he only wants good things for us, then that is what we will get.....as long as we do our part and put in the time and effort.

One thing that can trip us up sometimes, is that we may fail to recognize that there will be difficult times, and sometimes there are disappointments. The trick is, when these things happen, don't give up. It happens to everyone, and it does not mean that we won't reach our goals. It's all in how we cope with it. If at a bad time (we fail a test, have a bad clinical experience, whatever) we can say "what a crummy day. Tomorrow will be better", and then tomorrow we wake up with a positive attitude knowing that it's a new day with a fresh start, nothing can stop us.

Find people that you can lean on for support. Classmates and teachers are a ready-made cheering section. Even if you get one of those instructors who seems like the evil witch--- trust me, if she can see that you are really trying, doing your best, and want to succeed, she'll support you. Friends, people at church, and of course God.

I'm excited that YOU'RE so excited! Like NawlinsGirl, I look forward to your present and future posts! We'll be your cheering section also! Best to you.

P.S. I forgot to mention- when you DO succeed, even though right now your family is being so negative, they will be proud of you. I am pretty sure they're proud of you right now for even making the effort, they just don't know how to say so. And there's something in it for them too- when you succeed, they'll have to question their own "truths"- maybe life doesn't only hold disappointment!

[mattsmom]

Great answers above...very insightful!! My family thought I was underachieving when i chose nursing; they wanted me to be a doctor...LOL! When I told them I did not WANT to be a doc, they just couldn't believe it.
It just wasn't worth all that time and energy, then to have to be on call so often...LOL!

When someone in a low achieving family tries to succeed, they can get flack from those who would wish to keep you down...with them. Hang in there and follow YOUR dreams...and ignore their negative input. Only listen to the positive, if its what you really want to do!

For all its troubles, nursing is a good career for a caring soul who receives satisfaction through helping others. And I raised a family on the salary...it is decent (although it could be better, considering our responsibility level)

[aussie-margaret]

I would tell them you want to give it a go - if it doesn't work out for you, then you know you have had a go.

can you be part-time - one of my friends did this here in Australia - took him 6 years - had 2 kids and was separated, but he finished.

Tell parents you will always have the ability to get a job and work anywhere in the world, once you have finished - you will always be able to earn an income.

Plenty of work here in Australia - I could work almost every night in my small hospital. And any shift in Sydney.

I worked 4 nights in Accident and emergency last week - was meant to do 2 shifts on the ward - place is desperate for nurses - I work in accident and emergency tomorrow night as an extra -

I was asked to work last night on the ward - said no - ADON had spent 2 hours ringing around and was desperate for staff. Was also rung and asked to work Wednesday night but said no - too tired.

Agency work here - get paid weekly - some agencies pay in 24 hours I believe.

If I do friday night, saturday night and sunday afternoon, I can earn about $750 Australian after tax ( I am 8 year thereafter in my pay rate)

[AndreaP]

Not only will you find that sadly your parents have put you down, which is totally wrong in my book, but you will also find that the occasional prof. or clinical instructor might not have much faith in you or favors other students more. For the most part while i was in school i was quiet and went to just get it done and learn what i could. So i wasnt in the spot light which a few of my instructors looked down on and thought that I "didnt have the heart" but when they would come and look in on me caring for my patients I would always get high praise for my "...gentleness and ability to not look like I had other patients to see, that the patient was my one and only at that time" (Gosh that feels like I bragging, especially cause i honestly believe thats how it should be.) And then theres the whole eliminate the less strong students with harsh treatment thing that they did, almost scared me off a couple of times, but turns out i was stronger than i thought. And now i am facing the patients put downs. I love my job and there are lots of people that are so greatful for everything that we go through and do for them. But just last week I had two patients, one's wife fired me over puting in an 18g heplock for a CT scan, all because the shift before me had totally screwed it up and put in only a 20, she even called the lead clinical. I cried and cried and was so upset cause i had tried to correct the situation and instead it blew up in my face. Thank god for my fellow nurses on the floor and for the lead clinical or i would have been a wreck the whole rest of the shift. And then also last week there was the man whose insurance company had denied him rehab so we were trying to teach him correct transfers and body mechanics after his THA. At the end of my shift i wished him luck and all he could say was " i wish for you that you would go out and find a job with more integrety than the one you are in" That totally left me speechless! So I guess the moral of the story is that you have to decide to brush of those with the negative attitude and work your hardest at succeeding no matter what. Opinion and fact are two different things, so why base what you know about yourself on what other people think of you. There is no reason for it. Believe in yourself and go for it girl, prove em wrong! Hard as it will be sometimes, if you know you can do it, just buck up and go.

Andrea

[aussie-margaret]

AndreaP - that is dreadful you got abused by a relative - miserable woman.

A few weeks back where i work there was a abusive relative - female - the patient is a regular, so the staff get this woman regularly too. If she presented, the ADON had to be called and the security guard had to be called. Staff had to wear duress alarms and press them if the woman was abusive.
And fill out an incident form for any abuse

the woman was given a warning and told she and the patient would be sent to another hospital

personally I prefer working in Accident and Emergency - and I will be working a shift there tonight - as I prefer the "meet, treat and street" - in other words, you treat them and then they go home or to the ward, and you don't see them or their relatives day after day.
Here, patients are not allowed to be in the emergency dept for more than 8 hours without good reason.

I work in a small hospital and the ADON steps in if any problems with patients or their relatives.

[AndreaP]

aussie,

sounds like your adon and other management are very supportive of you. Your case was in the extreme. This woman was just angry, never really got abusive or anything, although i have had those patients and their families as well. But, thats a whole other story for a different campfire. We have security gaurds at our hospital that are readily available, but there arent very many so we try to handle the situation to the best of our ability before having to call them. Sometimes i wish we could have one posted on all the units. Ive always kind of liked the meet treat and street areas too, how ever i dont consider myself fast thinking or experienced enough to work in the ER. One of the other areas that you can do that is on L&D, labor the mother, birth the baby, and send them to post partum. However, in the community that Im from, which a large portion is of Hispanic culture, in L&D and also sometimes in the ER the entire family right down to the 3rd cousin 4 times removed will show up and hang out. So we are very rarely with out extra family at our hospital. Which is why i work night shift. It decreases the amount of extra people floating around in the hospital drastically. Usually its just the nurses and the RT's that are there caring for the patients. But the begining of the shift from 7until about 9 or 10 continues to have some of the family and the docs etc etc. What I really hate is when all the family is there or even just one member that has the patient all worked up for no good reason, stressing them out before we have even really begun to treat or know what is going on. I could go on forever on this subject. ha ha ha, as if you couldnt tell already. So ill let it go for now.

Happy valentines day all

Andrea

[mattsmom]

Andrea, I can sure relate about the extended friends and family hanging out and gettting the patient all riled up. With the push for 'open visiting' TPTB sure have made our job more difficult haven't they.

Frequently the visitors are more trouble than the patient...if they all would just leave we both would be fine.

[AndreaP]

Frequently the visitors are more trouble than the patient...if they all would just leave we both would be fine.
[/quote]


at least by 9pm. that would be good.

[emma]

HEY EVERYONE,

THIS TOPIC IS TO HELP ME COPE WITH THE FACT THAT NOT EVERY PARENT IS SUPPORTIVE. IM ON MY WAY TO NURSING SCHOOL IN MAY AND MY PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE AT ALL. THEY THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE NO ONE IN MY FAMILY SUCCEEDED, THEN I WILL NOT. IT KIND OF HARD TO COPE WITH THE FACT THAT NOT EVEN MY OWN PARENTS CAN BE THERE FOR ME, IV'E ALWAYS STAYED IN SCHOOL, NEVER GOT IN ANY TROUBLE AND ALWAYS HAD GOOD GRADES. EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT HOW EXCITED I AM TO BE STARTING MEDCIAL SCHOOL, THEY SAY ITS NOT WORTH IT. iTS HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHY PEOLE HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT. JUST BECAUSE I WAS RAISED IN A BAD NEIBORHOOD AND LIVED A HARD LIFE, DONT MEAN I CANT SUCCEED. I HAVE 5 YEAR OLD TWINS, AND THERE MOTIVATION TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. AND IF I DIDNT HAVE A WONDERFUL MAN, THATS THERE FOR ME, THEN I DONT THINK I WOULD HAVE HOPE. I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE, AND CARING FOR THE SICK. AND THANK GOD FOR THIS WEBSITE. PLEASE VOICE YOUR OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT, AND IF YOU CAN HELP WITH SOME ADVICE. THANKS XOXOX

Keep company with people that support you. Know that you know yourself better than- at this time in your life anyway - your parents do. You have outgrown your parents and may never get the response you want from them or others, Hang in there because what you are doing is greaaaaaat. Happiness is an inside job.

[emma]

Well I will learn how to use this. As you may have read. Keep company with supportive people. Not everyone is going to praise you for choices you make in life, even the ones that are life changing for you.
You may have outgrown your parents, and maby they are just not able to relate to you at all right now.
But you are doing something great and you and your children will know it. Hang in there.
"Happiness is an inside job"

[mattsmom]

[quote name='AndreaP' post='2489' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:34 PM']
Frequently the visitors are more trouble than the patient...if they all would just leave we both would be fine.

at least by 9pm. that would be good.


If I had my druthers, they'd leave just before I come on duty...LOLOL! ---Deb

[apryl]

No matter what you do in life, there will be always be someone who doesn't understand. As the old saying goes, "you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself." As long as nursing is what makes you happy, go for it. I know the lack of support is hard; I have a husband who seems to think nursing school should be a piece of cake and doesn't understand why I have so much stress I just tell myself that he doesn't understand, so maybe he's just ignorant in this case.

When you begin school, you will find out that your best support is sitting right there in the classroom with you. I am nearly halfway through, and I don't think I would have made it without my classmates. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to pout with. And believe me, anyone who is a nurse or in nursing school will understand and be supportive!

[MariaD]

Hey rnintraining,

Listen up. One day you'll be driving around in a brand new shiny car and you'll be wearing the best of clothes. That happens shortly after graduation. They'll be jealous then. Keep your eyes on the prize, girl.